Thursday, September 09, 2004

Boundaries...

Looking at the depressive series of India vs. England, ( we finally managed to win one ..thank gosh..all those puja’s in various corners of India helped ), I just started thinking about boundries..here we score more if we cross the boundary, however in reality it works the other way, if you cross a boundary – it can be physical or mental , a person is rudely told to stay within their limits…do we cross boundaries for a better understanding or is it invading space/authority ??!!

For those of you confused, let me just say that I deal with a Sr. Manager- lets call him A, who absolutely vanishes off planet earth , when ever he wants to… he thankfully, has an assistant B, who helps everybody out. The other day, B sent me a list of details urgently required to be sent to our HQ without asking A first (as usual he was nowhere to be found) , now A rematerializes ,acting affronted that his authority was undermined. walked around in a huff the whole week sending curt reminders that he was the boss.

I also see around me a boundary built by language… yes I know India is the melting pot of cultures.. but in office (atleast mine) , the people talking the same language cluster together.. even my roommates who are very sweet north Indians , seem to freeze when I am around. …I try and talk in hindi and all I get are laughs and patting on the back.. There actions though polite has a barrier which I feel I cant seem to get through

So who decides these boundaries- a lot of people think it’s the organization/society… but come on..
don’t these boundaries exist in our own mind. So I ask …breaking boundaries…good or bad??

7 Comments:

Blogger Sriram said...

u r rite...its all in mind. so try not keeping any boundaries in ur mind...but if some one like ur A is having them, its better try make him come out of it than u breaking in to it...
lest he may go in to a more narrow and strongly drawn boundary........ :)

12:32 PM  
Blogger Anu said...

ok, so tell me how do u make a person "come" out of his boundary..especially when they dont even realise they exist.. take my roomies for example... :>

11:21 PM  
Blogger Sriram said...

me too a southie...always lived with northie roomies...even now.....
but never had this problem...
and don think that its coz of my hindi...
the key is not to show them that u r different and making an effort to mix with them...
u just stay natural...yes, u can learn hidi and that will help...
more than that its the ability to stay natural and free in their presence that helps...may be they see u freeze in their presence, just as u feel...just think about it...
and u can eventually enjoy their companionship...
unless they hv some special north-south feelings and really dont want to mix with u...in that case no matter how much try it wont help...and it is not even worth trying also.... :)
ne ways, have a nice weekend...

Cheers,
Sriram
@
yuppieyearnings.blogspot.com

12:24 AM  
Blogger kpowerinfinity said...

Well, I have lots of friends from all parts of the country and have never felt any boundaries between us. Almost half of the people living with me are Southies, and the rest half are North Indians. I myself am a Punjabi from Kolkata. I have never felt such compartmentalization of society.

However, if you are really feeling such a thing, then you probably spending your time with people which have never spent time in a cosmopolitan environment; and so are hesitant. Perhaps, you should give them some more time, and they will become friendlier by the day.

And as for the "independant woman" concept in your first blog, I really do think that in the intensely competitive world where both parents want to make a "career", the children are left with almost no care. They hardly ever know their parents. And this is very sad. One of the parents [not necessarily the mother] should take up a less time consuming job so that children do not suffer. The same is repeated with old parents and other relations. I am not against both parents working; but at least one of them should take up less responsibility; or a SOHO arrangement.

9:41 AM  
Blogger kpowerinfinity said...

And yes, please don't make the whole body of your blog italicized. It is very straining for the eyes.

9:46 AM  
Blogger Anu said...

Thanks.. for letting me know about the italics.. i will keep in mind..though i felt that italics give a very gothic feel to the whole thing:))

10:04 PM  
Blogger surya said...

well...boundaries exist in minds not in reality...
You have a feeling that u cant speak Hindi like a Northie and ur roomies have a feeling that you are not one of them...that makes u think twice whenever u speak hindi...itz juss not there and u ppl r creating in ur minds...

i m a southie and have many frnds who speak many slangs of hindi...they never alienated me on the basis of language...

itz all in mind...

cheers,

surya
@ theunreasonable.blogspot.com

8:20 PM  

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