Saturday, December 16, 2006

Going Home -Part I

"Another winter day has come and gone away,In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by A million people
I Still feel all aloneOh, let me go home Oh, I miss you, you know ,Let me go home
I’ve had my runBaby, I’m doneI gotta go home Let me go home
ill all be all right.......I’ll be home tonightI’m coming back home"

"HOME" -lyrics by Michael Buble

This last month has been hectic for me with a sudden trip back home. It was a business trip backed with the fact that I needed to get my visa stamped, I had a ticket home. I hate traveling alone and the only thing that got me through the journey was the fact that I could get back to Chennai as fast as possible.

Through the last month I have had friends whisper to me that the first trip back to India is a special one. Though most agreed on the fact that the view that I see now with my “non resident” eyes would be very different . I kept disagreeing on the fact as it had been only a year since I left and a year cant undo what 27 years have honed.

I have been in India for the last week and in some ways I agree with them.Everything feels the same , the people act the same and the sky line looks the same, but I feel a bit disconnected to all of it.My home with my parents is my sanctuary , but as a daughter in law who has returned, I find the new relationships disconcerting. To adapt to a family, who I shared air space with for a moments before I left , is a hard task. Even though the people are nice , and the smiles genuine, the awkwardness between spots of conversation is felt. Maybe if I spent more time with them the word 'family' would have more meaning. But in this short period that I have to spend with the folks who brought me into this world , I feel I am split into two with traditions on one side and emotions on the other.

The tuning of the mind doesn’t stop with family. My friends look the same and act no differently than they did a year back. But there is so much of daily shared confidences , I have missed that it seems the language bantered among them is alien to me. Similarly being back to my old office with my colleagues in Bangalore, all of them have grown into their jobs. The young team who I left behind are now managers and senior staff. They carry their responsibilities well and it is a delight to see that the job they swore they would not be able to stand for another few minutes, has become their livelihood and pride for the last 2 years.

Maybe my view now is a bit hazy because I am still working on US time.But in the end a truth is evident, its not only India that has grown, but I have also been altered by the life back in California. I have realized that every day you live in an environment , redefines how you look at life. I don’t think the roads in India are any dirtier than they were a year back, but now I do think that something can be done to help clear the pollution so we can actually say "singara Chennai" in all its true meaning. The crowds on the street delights me and the aromas that float through the air , still have the power to create hunger pangs.I have developed a couple of new relationships this year, but this week I realized that a lot of them at home, have changed – some stronger and some a lot weaker.But at the end of the day, India is home, and however much I grow, I know I will always be able to come back to her.

Considering christmas is ard the corner.. i thought some themed jokes were in order

Psychiatric Christmas Carols
1) Schizophrenia---- Do You Hear What I Hear, the Voices, the Voices?
2) Amnesia-- I Don't Remember If I'll be Home for Christmas
3) Narcissistic-- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me
4) Manic-- Deck The Halls And Walls And House And Lawn And Streets And Stores And Office And Town And Cars And Buses And Trucks And Trees And Fire Hydrants And...........
5) Multiple Personality Disorder----We Three Queens Disoriented Are
6) Paranoid---Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Us
7) Borderline Personality Disorder--- You Better Watch Out, You Better not Shout, I'm Gonna Cry, and I'll not Tell You Why
8) Full Personality Disorder--- Thoughts of Roasting You On an Open Fire
9) Obsessive Compulsive Disorder---Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
10) Agoraphobia---I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day But Wouldn't Leave My House
11) Senile Dementia---Walking In a Winter Wonderland Miles from My House in My Slippers and Robe
12) Oppositional Defiant Disorder---I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13) Social Anxiety Disorder---Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate
14) Attention Deficit Disorder--We Wish You......Hey Look!! It's Snowing!!!

Keep smiling ppl



Blogger venkatk said...

nice post. My first home coming was a little different. It was a mixture of shock and surprise in the beginning and then a week later it turned out to be the chennai that I had left behind.

7:45 AM  
Blogger mitr_bayarea said...


nice summary of ur trip back home. Guess for a married woman, the first trip back to India, is always a different revealition, to be torn between spending time with ur family versus getting to know the family that u spent air space moments with. But, with respect to all the feelings, I'm sure that it is always home to most of us.Enjoy the rest of ur trip!

10:44 AM  
Blogger Raju said...

Wish you and ur family a very happy new year 2007!!!

7:01 AM  
Blogger Sundar Narayanan said...

happy new year ..


9:59 PM  
Blogger Abhinav said...

Nice posy..interesting read. Keep blogging

9:32 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Its irrelevant to your post, but considering you enjoy music by MS, I'm giving you a bit of Trivia.
MS was trained to sing Mira Bhajans for the movie Mira (where she played the role of Mira) by Sri Dilip Kumar Roy, who was a noted musician of his time. Sri Dilip Kumar was also the closest Disciple of Sri Aurobindo and a devotee of thakur Sri Ramakrishna.
A website dedicated to Sri Dilip Kumar Roy (which will have audio files of his music soon) has been recently launched.
You can access it here:

8:03 PM  
Blogger Trevor Mark said...

Nice post this...almost melancholic, yet not quite!

11:57 PM  

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