The Women in Me
Yesterday was International women’s day.. and I got wishes to rival my birthday. It was just a few words or a long poem , but the message was clear. Every website I visited had pictures of successful women all around. My sister called up to excitedly tell me that she was quoted in a newspaper on the role of women. All this made me proud but it also made me wonder, have the fairer sex reached equality if there are only a handful whom are splashed across websites in this day and age.
I have nothing against women’s’ day , in fact I think it’s a great concept.. but I feel that the men out there too deserve a chance at their own day !!Though I doubt there will be sentimental messages sent between men on their day .. For e.g Dear John.. you mean a lot to me for the kindness and understanding that you shown to me from the day we met From Dick… In such a case John probably might think Doe is Gay or is in serious need of a valium :)), but to receive this from a gal pal made me smile and send back a equally tear jerking mail back to her.
For me women’s day should be celebrated not only on the success or the heights women have reached.. but their day to day survival…I can feel a few raised eyebrows.. think of all those women employed in small firms/government companies, their day begins early with packing lunches, catching the predawn buses to remote areas , working at a measly salary, and coming back just in time to cook dinner. To get through this routine on a daily basis, with the hint of success shown to them by their children’s achievement. They aren’t the best in their field, but the sense of pride these women share is worth talking about. There are still ceilings in the professional field that women are striving to break, but its harder to break the social and cultural fence they have built around themselves. Maybe its in our nature or its society’s call, but a women truly feels successful if there is happiness in her family.There may be a few exceptions but that’s the general case.
The material gains and the independence obtained by women have considerably changed and increased. I know physically we can go the distance, but mentally sometimes it all gets too much. There is always a conflict for women between good for the family vs good for themselves. Any act committed for the latter is like a guilty pleasure. I know my mom would think a thousand times before she selected an item for herself, because her mind would constantly weigh the fact if there was anything for the house, which could be bought instead. To the modern women the choice between raising the family vs spending time in office to get that promotion is a additionally hard choice. So it came no surprise to me that “Women experience depression at roughly twice the rate of men”, and the facts about depression are scary!!!.The trend for stress relief is seen with the numerous Yoga/Meditation and Art of living courses across the globe.True men experience the stress as well, but my opinion is that the level the women relate to the world around them is more on an emotional level and thus the stress and guilt factor is all extra. My Aunt always says that its harder nowdays for women, because the achievements that are stacked in their ladder of success gets higher year round.And to me around every rung is guilt on the time spent in climbing that ladder.
But funnily enough I think women have the strength and courage to cope with anything in their path.. the main reason I think is our greatest weakness… we love to talk. I am sure even the quietest church mouse has a gal pal who she can sob her heart to. The process of talking is healing and to do it as soon as possible is the best method. I know the opposite sex frowns on this method, but its not an act of critiquing anybody. Its simply a way of acknowledging that life sometimes is not easy and we need support to get through it. It lovely to “Crib” and to receive assent on the fact. Its great to denounce everything from your job to your marriage but better to voice the sweetness and joy when these make you smile.
So to all the women who are in my life thank you… and to all the men.. well..I hope you have nothing to complain about :).
And for the smiles
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
I have nothing against women’s’ day , in fact I think it’s a great concept.. but I feel that the men out there too deserve a chance at their own day !!Though I doubt there will be sentimental messages sent between men on their day .. For e.g Dear John.. you mean a lot to me for the kindness and understanding that you shown to me from the day we met From Dick… In such a case John probably might think Doe is Gay or is in serious need of a valium :)), but to receive this from a gal pal made me smile and send back a equally tear jerking mail back to her.
For me women’s day should be celebrated not only on the success or the heights women have reached.. but their day to day survival…I can feel a few raised eyebrows.. think of all those women employed in small firms/government companies, their day begins early with packing lunches, catching the predawn buses to remote areas , working at a measly salary, and coming back just in time to cook dinner. To get through this routine on a daily basis, with the hint of success shown to them by their children’s achievement. They aren’t the best in their field, but the sense of pride these women share is worth talking about. There are still ceilings in the professional field that women are striving to break, but its harder to break the social and cultural fence they have built around themselves. Maybe its in our nature or its society’s call, but a women truly feels successful if there is happiness in her family.There may be a few exceptions but that’s the general case.
The material gains and the independence obtained by women have considerably changed and increased. I know physically we can go the distance, but mentally sometimes it all gets too much. There is always a conflict for women between good for the family vs good for themselves. Any act committed for the latter is like a guilty pleasure. I know my mom would think a thousand times before she selected an item for herself, because her mind would constantly weigh the fact if there was anything for the house, which could be bought instead. To the modern women the choice between raising the family vs spending time in office to get that promotion is a additionally hard choice. So it came no surprise to me that “Women experience depression at roughly twice the rate of men”, and the facts about depression are scary!!!.The trend for stress relief is seen with the numerous Yoga/Meditation and Art of living courses across the globe.True men experience the stress as well, but my opinion is that the level the women relate to the world around them is more on an emotional level and thus the stress and guilt factor is all extra. My Aunt always says that its harder nowdays for women, because the achievements that are stacked in their ladder of success gets higher year round.And to me around every rung is guilt on the time spent in climbing that ladder.
But funnily enough I think women have the strength and courage to cope with anything in their path.. the main reason I think is our greatest weakness… we love to talk. I am sure even the quietest church mouse has a gal pal who she can sob her heart to. The process of talking is healing and to do it as soon as possible is the best method. I know the opposite sex frowns on this method, but its not an act of critiquing anybody. Its simply a way of acknowledging that life sometimes is not easy and we need support to get through it. It lovely to “Crib” and to receive assent on the fact. Its great to denounce everything from your job to your marriage but better to voice the sweetness and joy when these make you smile.
So to all the women who are in my life thank you… and to all the men.. well..I hope you have nothing to complain about :).
And for the smiles
A Spanish teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. "House" for instance, is feminine: "la casa." "Pencil," however, is masculine: "el lapiz." A student asked, "What gender is 'computer'?" Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether "computer" should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that "computer" should definitely be of the feminine gender ("la computadora"), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ("el computador"), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.
Keep Smiling Ppl
Anu
Labels: Women
6 Comments:
Belated Women's Day! A truly thoughtful blog on women of today, their sense of duty versus guilt feeling. I am glad for the friendship we share from high school pals to married women.
I don't have anything against women or women's day or for that matter any day.
But I strongly feel that these days (women's day, mom's day, father's day, mushy day etc) are all the brain children of the card making conglomerate. They sell sentiments and make lot of money.
Mitr,,
:) ...
Chakra..
I agree..but its a real pleasure to receive a mail to say someone is thinking of you irrespective of the day:))
hey anu....just read your blog on womens day.
Although i do not have any strong feelings for or against womens day, I do think its pretty superficial. It is a day to recognize the struggle for gender equality and to celebrate the women who have made a difference….but is that what we are celebrating today?
I have been lucky to live a privileged life and I have done nothing for the underprivileged women…when that’s the case, I find it weird when somebody wishes me on women’s day..and even weirder to wish someone….someday I hope there will be more meaning to it than just flowers and cards and text messages.
Hey Anu,
Stumbled across this blog while searching for Bhaja Govindam translation. Google and its miracles. Very interesting posts and you think a lot like me and pretty much about everything.. my fav books - HGTHG, fountainhead, illusions, jonathan livingstone SG. music - PFloyd, western country, not a sports person, possibly the only indian guy who doesnt like cricket. just thought i would mention these as a start :-) Anyways, will continue to read more of your posts.. You a scorpio by any chance? Me.. '79 born Scorpio. Your thoughts feel so so mine. so was curious..
keep up the good work!
L
hmm, i read only ur smiles page.. i came after very very very long gap.. may be a year or so...
nice post...
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