Wednesday, October 15, 2008

With a lil help from aunts , uncles and people I don’t really know…..

I am tired, just dog tired. Last couple of weeks K and I have been arranging a function which happened over this weekend. It thankfully went on well, with the help of friends and family and basically I was kicked that I survived with 2 hours sleep and didn’t freeze in cold October air (Don’t ask !!!). The last month was exasperating and exhilarating in equal measure.
When I was younger, I used to love family functions, this was the time to dress up and eat well. Of course mom and aunts would be running around, and we girls would twirl around in our pretty silk pavadai’s (skirts) , waiting for the time we could wear the Sarees and heavy jewelry reserved for special occasions. The running around, was primarily to feel the anklets and bangles jangling , against the rustle of silk. Growing up, I started avoiding the functions because it meant helping mom which essentially added up to cutting bucket loads of vegetables and a whole lot of preparatory cooking work. It also meant the older aunts who looked over you, judging when you’ll enter the marriage market and subtle hints on how I should stop gorging on the vadai’s (fried patties) to do so. (Well aunty, I didn’t stop and K still married me – So there :D ) !!. When I turned 25 these functions became concentration of excruciating pain. Every time someone blessed you, it was to find a “Good boy” quickly ( I mean how many of us girls are willingly searching for bad boys ???) . So through this subconscious blessing, you do agree to marry someone you have known for a month consciously thinking that the third degree will stop, but that’s where you are fooled. The next one is of course ( all married woman say this with me) “When’s the baby coming – your getting older”. Well I know , I’m getting older, but a constant reminder about my ticking biological clock, which might just explode because of the strain of my age is kind of worrying :) ! But thinking about it , its this pressure, that makes people go ahead and how do I put this delicately – reproduce. I mean in the current scenario, no one wants to change their life. I love my little quirks that are selfishly mine. I hate early mornings and any type of physical activity .I love curling up with a book anytime, when I don’t have to work. Cleaning is not my forte and cooking for two is my only specialty. With the rising prices, you really don’t want to spend a small fortune on diapers which last a sum total of 3 minutes. So I wonder, if these aunts , uncles and totally unknown persons who are just plain inquisitive were created for people like me. The ones who are perfectly happy to stay in one place through their lives refusing to move or change. If it wasn’t for these folks, I would probably be in my mother’s kitchen chewing on a vadai and reading a old Agatha Christy. Actually thinking about it, that sounds good now (Sigh!)

But its people also known as society which actually bring about improvements or changes in our lives. We might hate them and they may be the most annoying people around, who really just need a life. But to take the next step , these annoying infuriating people actually make you consider options that you probably may not. For all the single woman out there, I am not saying you should follow their every direction, but sometimes just looking at the direction they are pointing at, will maybe take you to a place, that you always wanted but never knew how to get there. It not only marriage or spouse related. I remember when I was younger, one of these busy bodies told my mother, that she should get me married when I was 18 , because there was no way I would pass my high school with good enough marks for college. Well to blow my own horn (as no one else will :D) I scored a perfect 100 in my main subject, just to prove her wrong. So Mrs.R , wherever you are , thank you !

This post is actually inspired by my 3 year wedding anniversary and better still my birthday next week (K’s joy is that they are on the same day, so all he has to remember is one date in a full year and my promise is that if he doesn’t, it gives me reason for justifiable homicide !) . With every birthday I analyze my year and figure out all the places where I could have done better. At the end of it I am so tired counting my mistakes, that I just fall asleep thankful I lived another year :D !! But this year , I call my “grown up year”. Why, because every person I met or spoke to , taught me something - not really life saving, but just something which I need to wrap my mind around. I learnt how people can be racist or plain rude, with no clue that are being so, people hold on to words spoken in jest so close that words are mightier than the sword and most importantly, you cant always win and sometimes its better not to. Somehow this year I keep going back to my childhood (No I’m not old enough to start reminiscing with “Back in good old days”!!). And now after this function, I feel that I am standing in my mothers slippers, during the days of the function. Where your so busy trying to just ensure that everything is going just right and sky doesnt fall on your head, you turn around to see little girls in pretty skirts and boys in their best dressed clothes running around, you remember what these occasions mean. Not only a time to bring friends and family together, but to see the next generation running around and understand what those aunts, uncles and other unknown individuals were actually talking about.

Also before I end, I wanted to do a shout out to my sis, whose birthday is a day ahead of mine. She is 7 years older than me and a thousand decades more wiser. So “Happy Birthday P, I’m sure this year every one of your positive thoughts will materialize into actuality ”.

For the smile…

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes.......
After teaching the children about Salvation, the Teacher asked her Sunday School Class: "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the Church, would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the Church every day, mowed the yard, and kept
Everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!" "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" The Teacher asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!" "Well," The Teacher replied, "then how can I get into Heaven?" A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!"

Keep Smiling ppl,


Blogger SMM said...

Hey Anu...this is a wonderful post. And before I go ahead you have to tell us what date is your double celebration so we can all wish you both too :)

I love attending family functions so long as I know that my cousins and all are goign to be there. Much as I love my aunts and uncles, I cannot sit for hours on end chatting with them. I can chat with them in small doses. And now that we have completed 18 months, the inevitable question of "When are you planning to start a family" comes in.

Ummm people I'm 25. I don't think I'm ready to take on the complete responsibility of another person yet. I want to enjoy this time that I have alone with my husband - no cares in the world. There is so much that I want to do in life. I gave up some dreams when I very happily agreed to marry my husband at a young age.I don't regret that - not one bit, but babies - nah not yet. I love kids and I do want kids - but not just right now.

9:10 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

That was both thought provoking and hilarious...esp. the bit on gorging on the vadais...sounded terribly familiar :-)))

2:03 AM  
Blogger uma kumar said...

is that ur picture? look cute.

std questions a girl faces in our society...
r u not married?
once u r ,then when r u going to give us the good news? ie about baby?
then follows scores of advice ..have u seen a doc etc etc?
r u planning ? postponing?
my is endless...

having a child is so personal a thing but the world around us wants to know everything...u get a doubt whether they are interested in finding out whats the problem...with whom is the problem?
rather than ur welfare

there is standard answer to these questions...
"God knows when to give what whom...'
till then enjoy the time"
what say u

4:12 AM  
Blogger uma kumar said...

happy d day and happy anniversary

4:14 AM  
Blogger Solitaire said...

Nice one Anu.

Happy anniversary and happy birthday! Hope you enjoy "both" days. :)

I think when the elderly ask us to get married or have children or stop studying or whatever, they either have our best interest in mind, or need some activity for themselves (for example, matchmaking), or want something to discuss (for example, find out why we still don't have kids, is there a problem, etc etc.).

I think that advice is always good from those more experienced than myself. Yet, I think that I should be given enough freedom to be able make my own decisions and be respected for them.

8:39 AM  
Blogger SMM said...

Hey Happy Birthday & Happy Anniversary too gurl...hope you get a nice biiiiiiiig gift from K. have a blast and Congratulations :)

8:43 PM  
Blogger Anu said...

My Bday is on the 24th.. so thank you :) !I wrote the post a week earlier, to ensure I had documentary evidence for K to remember. I know the irritants that these people are beleive me.. I know woman who are really pained , because they are constantly asked, but no one knows how hard they are trying... sometimes people forget to think

Thanks.. I know all of us have a particular dish we gorge on in our mom's kitchen

@uma:No , thats not me.. I wish i was that cute.. People seem to butt in where they are not wanted at all!!!They cant seem to help it and Thanks :)

@Sol:Thanks .. I know ur right abt the advice part but when I was at the receiving end all the time it gets tiring

6:10 PM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Great post Anu! Got me thinking alot.

One thing I dun like is when ppl FORCE their opinions on me and my life. Its ok that they make suggestions but to tell me that Im not doing it right etc really pisses me off. Wuts right for them is not gonna be right for me is it :)

**But to take the next step , these annoying infuriating people actually make you consider options that you probably may not.

agreed...but only do things if you WANT to do those things..not cos ppl ask u to.

All the best in everything Anu!


7:22 PM  
Blogger hari said...

Wow Anu,
So much to read and so much to reminisce in this post, as always. You cheer up your readers with your posts. Keep it up. And advance Happy Deepawali Wishes to you and K.

1:50 AM  
Blogger hari said...

And by the advance wishes for a very Happy Birthday and Wedding Day to you and K. May your lives be decorated with the best of colours of nature.

1:51 AM  
Blogger CM-Chap said...

Hey Anu... Also I thought running around was to attract attention.. Thats how you attracted K isn't it? LOL

ts this pressure, that makes people go ahead and how do I put this delicately – reproduce - RPFL. Very true

Ah... Happy Birthday & Happy wedding Aniversary... So you are a scorp or Libra?

With every birthday I analyze my year and figure out all the places where I could have done better - Cheers. I do it as well on the prefvious night.

people hold on to words spoken in jest - Cheers again. I'm facing the same from someone now. Trying my best for almost a month... but all I get is rude response

6:42 AM  
Blogger Ani said...

Seems like it was ur birthday and ur anniversary. Sorry for peeking into some of the comments :-)

Wonderful post this....u seem to be a tam-bram ..are ya ? The functions pic (if thats from one of ur events seem to suggest that)

And as for my battle with ICICI ...well it was a pointless war. I did send a stinker to K V Kamath's email id and got some funny response from some Quality guy. That does it I guess ...A battle that never quite had the potential to move to stage 2 ..a.k.a a War


9:57 PM  
Blogger Ani said...

Anu ,

that was a lovely post.. and wish u both all the very best in ur lifes.. hugggzzzz..

hehe why do u think i am sooo far away from home.. hehe all the blessings i been getting over the past few years is get a good guy and get settled.. hehe and like u said.. we actively dont go in search of a bad guy now.. n err did i mention am 24 :( sigh sigh.. so u can understand all the pressure.. and considering when u have few cousins over taking u and on the family way.. oh boy oh boy.. or is it gurl now.. lol

oh well.. thats how life is.. what has to happen will happen.. there is a time for everything.. so till then .. just chillax.. hnnmm agatha christie and hot chocolate.. sounds just about right ;) what say..

2:56 AM  
Blogger Fantasies of a Lifetime said...

Lovely post , lovely picture of the lil girl in madisaru :D. . . . And I love festivals too , Gorging on the vadai's is my favorite part :D

9:32 PM  
Blogger Anu said...

@Keshi: Agreed... I was just trying to figure out why those people were around.. bugged the dickens out of me whenever there was a function

@Hari:Welcome back to the blog :)!! Thank you and happy Diwali to you too..

@CM: Me not telling how I attracted K (To confess, I still dont get it :D ). Thanks for the wishes and Im a scorp (notice the dazzling wit and lack of humility :) ). the best way to deal with those people is leave them be and watch ur words ard them

@Ani:Yep a Tam brahm.. but an extremely poor excuse for one. Im sorry about the stalemate with ICICI, they hit you where it hurts :(

@Ani D:Thanks and ur right about life leading you.. hot chocolate with agatha.. will love that except im allergic to chocolate

@Priya :Thanks.. the vadai facination is shared by one and all raised in the south indian world

8:00 AM  
Blogger Keshi said...

Anu alot of my aunts n uncles bug me alot too...I hate family functions now. No Im serious!


3:53 PM  
Blogger The Seeker said...

am last here!!!!Anu akkavukum, K athimberukum en belated birthday n wedding anniversary wishes...
Take care!!!!

9:45 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home