Sunday, March 06, 2005

Another One Bites the dust

I had 3 posts ready to be published.. but due to the absolute lack of time, I thought that this weekend would be the best time to consolidate everything … how wrong I was. My Saga of pre-marital woes follow ( btw my 3 other posts I will publish soon.. but this one had to be done today)..
(Disclaimer :I love my parents , though this is a part of their eccentricity which I have to put up with )

This time I am going to get into the details of the meeting ;- no disrespect to the ‘Boy’ or his side but if I wasn’t one of the parties involved I would laughed my guts off…
On Friday night there was this call from my Dad, asking me for a place where I meet my friends, I erroneously told him Coffee day, having a slight inkling of what he had in mind but not sure, however the plan was crystallized by Saturday morning for a Sunday afternoon tea with the Boy (Lets call him A) and his parents at Coffee Day!!!

Well my parents came rushing down to Bangalore, at the speed of light with Lalbagh Express actually in a century coming in early!! Well with my mothers constant what will you wear with my dad’s ruffling through the yellow pages to verify the company A worked - Saturday wasn’t very quiet. My mom took out the sari with the most zari, to wear. This is a lady who has been a H.O.D of management in leading woman’s college , but firmly believes that in these situations the girls mom responsible for updating the future mom in law on the family background and speaks only to answer questions on my culinary skills and moral upbringing.

On entering Coffee day, my dad was shocked at the ‘noise’.. he then asked the maitre d to switch it off :) . A was kinda hoping as I was that he was anywhere else when my dad loudly asked him to sit next to me so we can exchange views, over “Evanescence” screaming “my immortal”. The parents kept looking at us expectantly and to satisfy them, A came up with first question- pretty good one since his eyes kept moving to Priyanka Chopra on screen shedding most of her clothes. “where do you work ?” – well the questions was good, because my dad had just finished retelling my entire history in good old Bangalore, right to the fact that I walked to office from home and the number of dogs I encountered on my way there!!! So I told him and asked the compensatory ‘what about you and office?’ routine. He answered to me or I think he did, as his eyes were focused on anything but me!! Through the excruciating 45 mins he kept looking over my shoulder, or at my dad or at MTV with no music. So the A is shy , as my dad fondly put it later…”It means he a good boy, he doesn’t look at girls” ..OH PLEASEEEEE…..

To add to the whole circus of things, the order was taken by waiter.. My dad asked coffee – to which came prompt reply “Mochha or Capuccino?”. Now my dad was taken back – looked at the waiter and asked “This is Coffee Day- U serve Coffee Right”?? So I had to step in and quickly update my dad on the advancement in the brew industry in the last 10 years.
Taking a smoothie for the A, the rest of us had Cappuccino . Well my mom wasn’t to be left behind, she suggested the mandatory sweet to be brought in .When the waiter said they didn’t serve Sweets looking the poor waiter in the eye with a wintry glance “So cake is not sweet here”??The poor guy didn’t know what had hit him. Stepped in again and ordered a Black forest to keep the general peace and I swear I think I saw a glimmer of gratitude in the waiter’s eyes.

In the meantime A and I were trying to find a slim pane on which we could meet. He was a sports fan whereas the only channels not tuned on my TV were the sports ones- I like watching tennis only when there are tall, good looking Czech/Romanian/any former USSR countrymen playing :). My passion is Music and books, on enquiring on those, ‘A’ sweetly replied all he read were Harry Potter’s and music thoughts were met with a shrug, all while looking over my shoulder to an invincible person seen only by him (Btw I look passable, as per general opinion, so I know that it was not my looks which made him stare into space)

OK- no habits/hobbies/movies/people in common. Next round was family. Which was taken care by my dad who explained to the listening pleasure of all the people in the restaurant the family tree right from my great granddad’s period. My mom quietly intercepting on how my culinary skills to be attributed to the amazing genes of my forefathers :)). Time drew on, my entire concentration was on hookah pipe smoked by the under aged kid nearby ,hoping to God, a genie would appear and grant me my wish of vanishing from that time zone for the next half an hour.

I finally woke up when my dad asked for the bill. Both the waiter and I wore similar looks of relief on our faces. My dad asked us to exchange our cell nos. while loudly proclaiming that finally it was in our hands and Gods. I doubt God will have much to do with the final outcome,considering A and I were trying best to get out of there as possible.

A did not give me his number and I am hoping that he doesn’t call. I hope he finds a wife who is a sports fan and also doesn’t mind being invisible when he talks to her :).
My dad is sure they are impressed and will call ,all the while checking the net and matrimonials for new finds!! My mom on the other hand , shakes her head at me for being opinionated and promptly starts praying for the next one to be the final one!! Well that was a nice experience, I learnt that I finally needed to tune my TV to the news in sports too, maybe the next one will speak to me instead of invisible gal behind on Saffin’s serve.

Wow that was a looooong one…… nyway I think this snippet is the perfect ending to the blog


Day night, I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk, he agreed but he
kept quiet and absent.I asked him what was wrong – he said,"Nothing."I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior; I don't know why he didn't say,” I love u, too."When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with
me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent. Finally I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed. I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront him with the situation but he had fallen asleep. I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Today India lost the cricket match against Bangladesh.


Blogger thelearner said...


Perhaps the guy would have behaved differently if the parents were not around?

5:40 PM  
Blogger surya said...


he might also be going through the same...who knows????

hey..lemme tell you...guys who like sports are really "good"....they love life...

I dont think it is a "must" that your spouse should like what all you like..
neway..that juss my opinion...

all da best...

8:30 PM  
Blogger JaganLee said...

Perhaps the boy too would have putup a similiar post in his blog ;-). Most of us will not be comfortable with perfect strangers, and it cant be called shyness. U both should have conversed a bit over mail/fone to know each others 'comfort zone' before meeting in person.

[this is my personal opinion]..all the best :-)

10:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The first question was pretty good ... two other first questions i heard, both my cousins:

"Would you like to have bananas?"
"err ... so .. what is the population of ****?"

And the best part is ... they married !!!

5:52 AM  
Blogger kpowerinfinity said...

oops ! the above was me

5:53 AM  
Blogger The Last Blogger said...

Sometimes even an awkward meeting that you just outlined could serve as a good starting point as long as the eye contact is there. Without positive and confident eye contact, with our without parents in the vicinity, its kinda hard.

On the parents note, I have observed many parents of friends and relatives trying to get their kids to talk without really giving them the space or comfort. While their intent is laudable, their approach, unfortunately tends to be outdated. Pity.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Krish said...

I can understand...Parents, as TLB has mentioned has good intentions but unfortunately bad execution...May be the guy would have been different had parents been not around....

6:34 PM  
Blogger saranyan said...

Anu, this situation isn't as bad as you think. A was clearly shy to converse or even maintain a consistent eye contact with you. Probably this was a first time for him. with parents around its clearly awkward, as TLB said.

I want to know what you would say if

1. He calls you
2. Their parents call up you parents and give a green signal (this is highly unlikely, but still for argument sake)

And why don't you call him and talk to him. If he still behaves the same way, then you are right.
to me, this meeting conveys nothing about the boy.

9:05 PM  
Blogger manoj said...

came here from jagan's blog. I feel sorry for you and everyone at that table. But I guess sympathies from an unknown guy is the last thing you need. Best wishes for finding the right person and thanks for opening a window into the girl's mind.

10:50 PM  
Blogger Anu said...

Thanks for all your support

12:10 AM  
Blogger Anu said...

Sorry the comment got published before i could finish,
Just wanted to clear up a few thing
a) The guy was nice and I have no problem as to his interest in sports
b) However would really like if we could have something in common to talk abt,
To Saranyan,
I seriously doubt if he'll call back, if he does , i would talk to him, but i am very doubtful

All the others, it just an experience i needed to put down... I am not jugding him at all:)

12:21 AM  
Blogger hari said...

Hi Anu,

I am sure the guy will come back to you. In fact you are mistaken when you said he was searching a girl behind your back. The fact is he was so enchanted and possessive about you that he was just checking out whether any other guy around is eyeing you.

So all the very best to you.

2:48 AM  
Blogger :: S-a-t-z :: said...

I'm here thru hari's blog...

Some interesting posts r here :-)

1:38 AM  
Blogger Deepak Jeswal said...

Hi Anu,

A very well written post ... and yeah, having gone thru the same rigmarole, can say with experience that guys are equally awkward in such scenarios. Perhaps, it just shows the guy was not the one with a false sense of bravado and artificial attitude . But hey, experience makes it perfect ha ha ha ha ha ... when u hv to settle, it will click automatically ... then everything falls into place automatically. All the best...

The last bit was also interesting .

8:58 AM  
Blogger Debprotim said...

Nice blog. Thanks for giving us a sneek preview into a woman's mind.
The jokes n the diaries were pretty hilarious. Please do post more jokes in future. They r absolutely fun to read.

9:54 AM  
Blogger P-H-A-N-T-O-M said...


tx for the insight about how it would be.....thers only a certain upper limit to the time when you can evade it and mine got over long time back....expecting to be thrust into these scenarios very soon......and somewhere I believe, I dont ask about the office.....first....
God gimme a break !!!

5:30 PM  
Blogger kpowerinfinity said...

hey ! i cant comment on ur next post !!! page not opening

11:27 PM  
Blogger Trevor said...

I particularly liked this one, for the refreshingly humorous manner in which it brings out the finer nuances of an otherwise tried and tested (read cliched)concept of the run up to 'The great Indian Marriage.'

8:40 PM  

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