Wednesday, December 01, 2004

What’s Love Got to Do with It?

Last weekend, I sat through 5 romantic comedies and 2 cartoons mom is in town and she hates anything to do with blood, horror, screams, races, helicopter crashes,,, so that kinda rules out 98% of the movies ever produced So I just landed up in front of the DVD guy and gave the list- between Titanic and Laws of Attraction, I guess I had absolutely no choice – Laws of attraction it was :). So I sat down with my potato chips to watch the battle between the sexes which, as per every movie, has deep undying love as its basis, which in the real world I believe is not entirely true… if I don’t like someone, I truly think you wont in the next couple of days/months/years swear undying love (at least 98% of the time)
Why am even talking about this cause people all around me are either falling into love or out of it, in very fast ,almost rhythmic order and in almost with the same ferocious fervor that Hollywood, bollywood and music scene keeps sprouting out love scenes/songs which cater to either of the above segments

I have a friend who keeps listening to the song “I just died in your arms tonight” just to remember the girl at the party he saw when the song played at the background and the worst part is he sings it out loud with emotion. He doesn’t know her name, how she sounds, he just seen her and is in love. He is definite that this is the love of his life, and how is he so sure?? Because it happens in the movies, and movies are a blueprint of real life – that’s his reasoning and also , I think, most of the roadside Romeo’s who follow girls home , professing undying love scaring the poor girl half to death most of the times have the same logic :>.

I am not crusader against love at first sight, but frankly I don’t get it. I think most of us build up our expectations of the person, before we have a chance to even talk to the poor soul. And then when the expectations don’t match, there is an ugly warfare happening between two nice individuals that affects everyone next to them. I have a bunch of friends who are with their worse halves; because they are too afraid to admit to themselves that they have made a mistake in the first instance. All they do is crib and imagine how much better their life would have been if they hadn’t seen ‘her/him’ standing there .Also a friend who says that she loves her boyfriend but doesn’t like him anymore. Yes maybe they do love each other , but if they do can they cause so much misery between themselves, is it love I ask or just a feeling of being in love that they are afraid to turn their backs on?

I have seen guys/gals fall in love with the other sex and never tell them - hates/loves them the rest of their life, sounds right of the movies doesn’t it. Why cant they walk away … their answer is simple, that love happens only once in life. I don’t get it, do they mean to say that the brain, which basically controls their emotions, will react only once in their entire life in that particular manner? The next question that they say it’s the heart, its emotions and it just can’t be controlled. I agree, but let the logical side take over when the feeling dissipates and move on, there are more fish in sea atleast, and one more person will be there to make you feel all those glorious things, which is the case in today’s world anyway.

So today, I am just left wondering, as we more enamored with the feeling of being in love- the picture perfect happy couples who are generated on the large screen. Are we in search of an imaginary concept, leaving reality behind? Do we in our heart of hearts require a undying love which defies even time, I don’t know...and I guess like everybody else I will find out only when/if I experience it

As the blog was kinda serious, thought I would follow it up with a naughty joke

A woman takes a lover home during the day, while her husband is at work.
Unbeknownst to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.

Her husband comes home unexpectedly, so she puts the lover in the
closet with the little boy.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball."
Man- "That's nice."
Boy- "Want to buy it?"
Man- "No, thanks."
Boy- "My dad's outside."
Man- "OK, how much?"
Boy- "$250."

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the mom's
lover are in the closet together.
Boy- "Dark in here."
Man- "Yes, it is."
Boy- "I have a baseball glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
Boy- "$750."
Man- "Fine."

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove. Let's
go outside and toss the baseball back and forth." The boy says, "I
can't. I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them
for?" The son says "$1,000."
The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like
That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to
church and make you confess."

They go to church and the father makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that sh*t again."

Keep Smiling,



Blogger surya said...

pretty serious I would say.
But, not only love at first sight ..but neither there is some emotion called Love. It is just the name we give to one of our very important needs.
You get to know a person, get to know about him/her, find out that you will be able to enjoy his/her the same time he/she complements your financial, physical needs. So, you decide to grow old with him/her. where is the emotion involved???

I think all these ppl who talk abt emotion are just fooling themselves....and troubling others..

12:31 AM  
Blogger Castelgard said...

i do accept it that there is no point in having GF/BF for the heck fo having it....but as for logic prevails always...then we wudnt have so many break ups/divorces etc...somtimes we tend follow our emotions and thatz what differentiates us From "DEEP BLUE" etc..which work purely on logic we will a purely mechanical life....we need to differetiate ourself so the concept of heart comes into we need to accept it

12:46 AM  
Blogger hari said...

Hi Anu,

I think this whole concept of love at first sight is just infactuation. There can never really happen.

Love is something that evolves between two persons living together over a period of time and it may sometimes take even a lifetime to prove that a couple were in true love. It has to stand both the test of time and situations.

That was a nice joke too.

1:05 AM  
Blogger Sriram said...

Love at first sight!!! may be true or may not be...But its the first impression that drives the relationship. When u see/meet a person for the first time if u dont get good vibes, its very unlikely that u will proceed further with him/her...

11:09 PM  
Blogger JaganLee said...

Hey Anu,
Excellent article. Love-at-first sight, for me, is the biggest joke. It cant happen, if it does its just infactuation and not love. How can u fall in love with a person, whom u dont know? Loving a girl at bus-stop/railway station...can be for fun, but thats not the way, when it comes to life. And i hate the guys, who start with "I'm gonna impress her", and ACT as if he's the best dude in town. These things will not last long, when it comes to life, afterall YOU have to be YOU and cant pretend to be someone else.
The best way should be, to know the person well, try to adapt to her, and not try to impress her, and if u think that she's yours, then compromise/adjust with certain things.
Lots of friend, who fell in love during college days.. broke-up, after started working, simply bcos, they couldnt cope-up with life(offered by 'real' world) and love together.

12:50 PM  
Blogger Anu said...

Surya,Hari,Sriram and Jagan
Ur right, but there are cases where the emotions override a person, and I personally cannot judge their relationships, so I am still wondering:))

I do know that emotions are the main triggers/excuse for many things done wrong in this frantic world

nyway thks guys, atleast I know what most ppl think now :)

5:06 AM  
Blogger JaganLee said...

When emotion overcrowds a person, its better not to take any decision. But in this case(love) its overcrowds to an extent, that u forget, that u shouldnt take any decisions.
Bit complex isnt it!! :-)
visit my blog when u find time.

12:18 PM  
Blogger S m i t h a said...

"..people all around me are either falling into love or out of it.." - Where do u live? I want to move into your neighbourhood! (My chances might improve!)
As far as the rest of the post and comments go... i'll stick with what Micheal.J.Fox once said, "...this is heavy-duty Doc!" Dont want to be Abhimanyu & get myself into the ChackraViewga of this conversation!
the joke was good though. reminded me of a Johnny joke i once heard... and i would refrain from posting it since i dont want my first ever comment here to be deleted! But as a gentleman as im, im asking consent, May I, Anu?
btw - my name is misleading, i dont belong to the fairer sex!

4:51 PM  
Blogger Chakra Sampath said...

Well said Anu.. and a good joke too!

"When emotion overcrowds a person, its better not to take any decision." - spot on Jagan!

2:27 AM  
Blogger saranyan said...

well first attraction is not entirely bad. but as you said, declaring love on the spot is ridiculous. that just shows how much these people really care about the opposite sex!!!
that said, first attraction is always needed as a jump start. being friends for sometime and then realising that you actually love the person is also a bit stretched, but thats my humble opinion.
that joke was really nice.

Good blogging, came from jagan's blog.

10:04 AM  
Blogger The Last Blogger said...

Well, I had to comment on this one.
I am someone who "dated" a girl for almost 6 years before we got married a month ago.
Was it love at first sight ? No.
But once we really got to know each other (and that took us about 6-8 months), we figured we wanted to be with each other much longer.
See, all the stuff you see in most movies gives a totally screwed up view of love. Love is really getting to know a person well and then figuring out you want to spend the rest of your life with this person wanting to know more and more about him or her. Thats really what it is. Thats what I felt and 6 years down the line, I still think I want to spend time with my wife and keep her happy. Its as simple as that.
And given that most visitors in this blog are Indian, I will tell you this. Its a toss up between knowing the devil or trying to know the devils prowess by way of arranged marriage. For me the answer was simple.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Rhyncus said...

Got here thru Jahnvi's blog. Saw this post on Love. Hate it or yeah, adore it, one does feel an irresistible urge to comment on it, no?
Love at first sight - exists. more as a beacon/lighthouse than firm land.
Love happening again - happens. (yeah, ask Liz Taylor) But seriously, it can if you are brave enough to make it.
Enamoured with the word/emotion? - Yes. Probably the single emotion people hanker after most. You don't see people muttering 'I MUST feel kindness atleast once before I die/get married/all of the above', do you now?

9:28 AM  
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8:27 PM  

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