Sunday, September 30, 2007

Success??!!!

What defines success.. even if you can define it the main question is whether the measure of success lies in your eyes or those of society.We tend to judge ourselves by what others think of us.As much as all the great advice from the wise ask us to judge our actions by god and our own moral codes, the reaction of people around is the key that winds each ones opinion of oneselves. So why do we do it… is it because man is not an island, or is it because that there is some force in each one of us that links us as a community.

My colleague who is from Ghana was talking about going back and setting up a school for girls, but she felt that it was doubtful she would ever succeed, as the mindset of women had changed from the time she was there. Now there seemed to be many women who were ‘second ‘ wives to their husbands. These were educated, working women who wanted children but really didn’t want the responsibility of being a wife. They were accepted by society and their children , though from a single parent home (r a parent and a half!) were doing well. She asked me if this was possible in India… I immediately said no , because of the moral and cultural boundaries that were so strictly in place. But later I had to question… is’nt that happening already with the number of divorces increasing in our country. Single working women , with children and a happy life. But if you ask any women on the street if that single working mom’s life was successful she would give an emphatic no!!..the reason being age old as the Everest in India. Single women cannot bring up a child in this world , because god knows what people will say…!!Thus the happiness doesnt depend upon her well being, but society's reaction to her?



But tell that to the millions of women who are now having an absentee husband due to jobs and the pressure in India to succeed.There is an inflow of so much cash due to the country opening up its economy, but with it comes the burden of doing more in the 24 hrs allotted. The rising costs are forcing more women into the workforce, and funnily as it seems the stay at home mom has evolved into a supermom , with a job ,kids and of course the family, But what drives her- is it money or is it an acceptance of society. Nowadays women are supposed to work. Looking through the matrimonial columns for my sister in law, 90% of the men want working women. Included in that list is a girl who is religious, respects elders and of course can share his life ( which means of course do half the chores ).. Though the first two are not too difficult, the sharing of life part is the fun part!!! It means an equal in the monetary sense too. I dont blame the darker sex for that, its just that they too have to touch the success line as defined by society and this unfortunately is measure always in money!!..A friend of mine ran back to work as soon as her son was born, she felt insecure because she was not helping her husband with the income and of course what would people think if she sat at home , even though they both are very well off.!!. so its become a compulsion to put in your share of the cash.. even if your better half doesnt need it .. :(




In the states, I see the hundreds of wife waiting to get their work visa’s so that they can supplement their husbands income .Even if the girl would like an more home based life , she has to choose the career path in order to make ends meet.But sometimes, its just not the basics that we require but the luxuries and that’s where my question is. Do we need the house and the second car because they essentials or we are trying to meet an unseen line which defines to society how successful we are? Is success defined by how much and how quickly we can do all that we do or is it just state of mind where you at peace ?



After that heavy dialogue , the smiles

If you ever feel a little stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
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"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
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"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .
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"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.
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"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

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"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.
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"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
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"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it."
--Al Gore, Vice President
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Keep smiling ppl


Anu

2 Comments:

Blogger mitr_bayarea said...

Hmm...nice summary of thoughts on how the times have changed and the need for women as equals to bring in their share of the money to run the family has become a norm.

1:23 PM  
Blogger Debprotim said...

What if the husband decides to sit at home, taking care of the household chores and maybe freelancing whereas the wife takes up the cudgel of earning the bread?
any thoughts on that? This time it shall not be societal pressure but more of an understanding between the two.

5:51 AM  

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